Afraid.

So afraid of falling,
Falling, and breaking my stone heart back into the pieces i've only just glued together,
Of giving it away,
And being pushed to the depression from where i once came,
Only for the monsters of my own imagination to come crawling back,
And swallow me whole.
Never to return.
Afraid that everything left of my purity,
Is all he wants.

Would it be selfish....
To end it all?

Caged

Trapped inside,
There's no escape,
I've been locked inside this horrid place.
By now you'd think i'd have accepted my fate.
But i haven't.
I'm sick of every day feeling exactly the same.
Call me a bitch, 
And extend my stay,
Threaten me to my face,
Say that i can never leave,
This war is mine and i won't back down.
I won't give up until I've lost the ability to breathe.
Although i feel like i'm about to break
I'm staying strong for those on the outside.
The friends in which i take pride,
The hope of one day returning to the better life.
You don't care and she's fucking blind.
But in the midst of all this, 
I'm losing my mind.
I'm losing feeling. And i'm losing my fucking grip.
You don't know how badly i just want to snap, and let all emotions just slip
One day i'll get out,
But i'll never forgive
And i'll never forget.
All the times you've treated me like a piece of shit.

I'll help you fight your internal wars.

It had seemed everything had gone downhill.

I was suffering from depression,

I would cry myself to sleep at night,

Had hallucinations from lack of sleep because i would cry till 3 and wake up at 6 or 7

And cut on a daily basis.

I was quite unwell.

I was undergoing changes,

Changes i'd never gone through before.

I'd suffered from heart break,

A friend had just died,

My brother had just gone to prison,

My mother and i argued constantly.

Life felt like it was falling apart at the seams.

What was i supposed to do?

I'd felt like i'd fallen into this dark abyss,

Never to see daylight again

And there they came.

My saving grace,

My best friends,

To the rescue <3

I've learned to cope with things, and be happy.

If anyone ever feels that way,

I'm here for you.

Forever and always.

When you need a hand to hold you from the edge,

Like Kerli Says.

"When it all comes crashing down,

And it's winter all year round,

and the sky is fire red,

And the world is just the shelter underground, 

hen there's nothing to lose,

And the lost cannot be found,

I'll find you."

I don't want anyone.

To feel the emotions i felt.

Idc if you think you're the damned most horrible person.

Everyone deserves love.

I'll try my hardest to be your saving grace,

Just as they were mine.

I love you all.

<3